How to Make a Pet Loss Book for Your Child

A pet loss book for kids is a small picture book, made with your child, about a pet who has died. It says plainly what happened, then fills the pages with your pet's photos, the funny things they did, how everyone feels, and the ways your family will remember them. Because it is about your dog, cat, rabbit or fish, it gives your child something real to hold, reread and talk about when the feelings come back.

Why make a memory book after a pet dies?

A homemade memory book gives a grieving child a calm, concrete way to talk about the pet. Instead of one hard conversation, you have a book they can bring to you whenever they want to remember.

For many children, a pet is their first experience of death. Bookstore books about pet loss can help, but a book with your pet's real face, name and habits says something those books cannot: this pet mattered, and we will not forget them. Making it together also gives your child something to do with sad feelings, which can be a relief.

This book is a way to remember, not therapy. If your child is struggling for a long time, their pediatrician or school counselor is a good person to ask.

What should a pet loss book include?

Keep it short, honest and full of the pet. Most memory books cover these things:

• Who the pet was. Name, what kind of animal, how they joined the family, what they looked like.
• Favorite things. Their favorite toy, food, nap spot or trick.
• Funny and happy memories. The time they stole a sandwich, the way they waited by the door.
• Plain words about what happened. That the pet died, in simple language your child can understand.
• Feelings. Sad, mad, confused, even okay. All of them are allowed.
• Goodbye. How the family said goodbye, if you want to include it: a burial in the yard, a little ceremony, a candle.
• How we remember. Photos on the fridge, planting a flower, telling stories.

How do I explain death in the book?

Say it plainly and kindly: "[Pet] died. That means [his/her] body stopped working. [Pet] can't eat, breathe or feel hurt anymore, and [Pet] won't come back."

Gentle, plain words are commonly recommended for young children because phrases like "went to sleep," "we lost him" or "she went away" can be taken literally. A child may worry about going to sleep, or wonder why nobody is looking for the lost dog. If your family has beliefs about what happens after death, you can add them on a page of their own, in your own words.

A page-by-page outline you can copy

Here is a 14-page outline. Change the words in brackets, skip any page that does not fit, and add more memory pages if you have lots of photos.

1. Cover: "Remembering [Pet]" or "[Name] and [Pet]", with a favorite photo.
2. Meet [Pet]: "This is [Pet]. [Pet] was our [dog/cat/hamster]."
3. How we met: "[Pet] came to live with us when [Name] was [age]. We got [him/her] from [the shelter, a friend, the pet store]."
4. What [Pet] looked like: "[Pet] had [soft gray fur, one floppy ear, a white spot on [his/her] nose]."
5. Favorite things: "[Pet] loved [the squeaky duck, chicken, the sunny spot by the window]."
6. A funny memory: "One time, [Pet] [ate a whole sock, chased [his/her] tail for ages]."
7. [Name] and [Pet]: "[Name] liked to [brush [Pet], read to [Pet], feed [Pet] breakfast]."
8. What happened: "[Pet] got very [old/sick/hurt]. [Pet]'s body could not get better."
9. [Pet] died: "[Pet] died on [day]. [Pet] won't come back, and [Pet] doesn't hurt anymore."
10. Saying goodbye: "We [buried [Pet] under the tree, said thank you, lit a candle]."
11. Big feelings: "[Name] feels [sad, mad, lonely]. Everyone in our family misses [Pet]. All feelings are okay."
12. What helps: "When [Name] feels sad, [Name] can [hug us, look at this book, hold [Pet]'s collar]."
13. How we remember: "We remember [Pet] by [planting a flower, telling [Pet] stories at dinner]."
14. Last page: "We loved [Pet], and [Pet] loved us. We will always remember [Pet]."

Words that help on the hardest pages

The "what happened" and "feelings" pages are the hardest to write. These sentences are gentle without being vague.

[Pet] was very old. [His/Her] body got tired and stopped working. [Pet] died, and [Pet] won't come back.

[Pet] was very sick. The vet gave [Pet] medicine so [Pet] could die peacefully, without any pain.

[Name] didn't do anything to make [Pet] die. It was not [Name]'s fault.

Sometimes [Name] feels sad, and sometimes [Name] feels fine and wants to play. Both are okay.

That third one matters. Young children sometimes wonder whether something they did or thought caused the death. A clear "it was not your fault" page can be a comfort.

When and how should we read it?

Make and read it whenever your child seems ready, whether that is a few days after the death or a few weeks. Let them lead.

• Make it together, slowly. One or two pages at a sitting is plenty. Ask, "What do you remember about [Pet]?" and write down their words.
• Keep it where they can reach it. Children often grieve in short bursts and want the book at unexpected times, like bedtime or months later.
• Expect repeats. Young children may ask the same questions many times. Going back to the same page gives the same calm answer.
• Add pages later. A new memory, a drawing, or a photo of the flower you planted.

How to make it on makeabook.fun

makeabook.fun is free, runs in your browser on a phone, tablet or computer, and needs no sign-up.

1. Open a blank book. Start with "A blank book", which gives you twelve empty pages to fill with the outline above. Add pages if you need more.
2. Add your photos. Upload pictures of your pet from your phone or computer, then drag to reposition and zoom so their face fills the frame.
3. Add your child's drawings. Photograph drawings of the pet, or let your child draw right in the maker on the drawing pad with a finger, mouse or stylus. Our guide to turning kids' drawings into a book has tips.
4. Write the words. Keep each page to a sentence or two. The "just words" layout works well for the page that explains what happened.
5. Choose a font and colors. Andika, a font designed for children learning to read, makes it easier for early readers to read on their own.
6. Finish the cover and dedication. The title page and dedication page fill themselves in, so you can write "For [Pet], the best [dog] there ever was."
7. Read it together in the flip-through reader, then print.

Printing a copy to keep

The free print-at-home PDF is full color, with each page centered on US Letter or A4 paper. For a memory book you want to keep for years, the Keepsake edition ($2.99 once per book) gives print-shop quality at the exact book size, no makeabook.fun mark, and a fold-and-staple booklet layout, and you can re-download it free after adding pages. Our guide on how to print a picture book at home covers paper and binding. If your family is also grieving a person, our page on making a memory book after a loved one dies may help.