How to Make a Memory Book for a Child After a Loved One Dies

A memory book for a child after a death is a small picture book, made together, about a grandparent or other loved one who has died. It says plainly what happened, then fills the pages with who that person was: their face, their kitchen, their jokes, the things they did with your child. It gives your child a way to remember, and something to hold when the sad feelings come back.

Why make a memory book for a child who is grieving?

A memory book turns a big, hard-to-hold loss into something a child can see, touch and reread. It gives you a calm way to keep talking about the person, which many grieving children want even when adults find it hard.

Bookstore books about death can be lovely, but they are about someone else's grandma. A homemade book shows your person: the garden they grew, the song they sang, the photo of them holding your child as a baby. Making it together also gives your child something to do with their feelings, and gives the adults a reason to share stories.

This book is a way to remember, not therapy or medical advice. If you are worried about how your child is coping, their pediatrician, school counselor or a child therapist can help.

What should a book about death for kids include?

Keep it honest, simple and full of the person. A memory book usually covers:

• Who they were. Their name, what your child called them, how they were part of the family.
• What they loved. Their favorite food, hobby, place, music, team or saying.
• Memories with your child. Things they did together, big or small.
• Plain words about the death. That they died and what that means, in language your child can understand.
• The funeral or memorial, if you want. What happened, who was there, what your child did.
• Feelings. Sad, mad, scared, confused, or fine and wanting to play. All are allowed.
• How we remember. Photos, recipes, traditions, places you visit, stories you tell.

How do I explain death in plain words?

Say it gently and directly: "Grandpa died. When someone dies, their body stops working. He can't breathe, eat or feel pain anymore, and he won't come back."

Plain words are commonly recommended for young children because softer phrases can mislead them. "Went to sleep" can make bedtime scary. "We lost Grandma" can sound like she might be found. If the death followed an illness, it helps to say it was a very serious sickness, not the kind of sick people get when they have a cold. If your family has religious or spiritual beliefs about death, add them in your own words on a page of their own.

A page-by-page outline you can copy

Here is a 15-page outline for a grandparent. Change the words in brackets for any loved one, and leave out anything your family does not want to include.

1. Cover: "Remembering [Grandma]" or "[Name]'s Book About [Grandpa]", with a favorite photo of them together.
2. Who they were: "This is [Grandma Rose]. She was [Mommy's mom]. [Name] called her [Nana]."
3. Where they lived: "[Nana] lived in [a yellow house in Ohio] with [her cat, Pepper]."
4. What they loved: "[Nana] loved [baking bread, watching baseball, singing in the car]."
5. Us together: "[Name] and [Nana] liked to [feed the ducks, play cards, make pancakes]."
6. A favorite memory: "One time, [Nana] [let [Name] stay up late to see the stars]."
7. Something they always said: "[Nana] always said, '[See you later, alligator].'"
8. They got sick: "[Nana] got very sick. The doctors tried hard, but her body could not get better." (Adjust for your family's situation.)
9. They died: "[Nana] died on [day]. Her body stopped working. She won't come back, and she doesn't hurt anymore."
10. Saying goodbye: "We went to [Nana]'s [funeral/memorial]. [Name] [wore a blue shirt, put a flower by her picture]." (Optional.)
11. Big feelings: "[Name] feels [sad, mad, mixed up]. The grown-ups feel sad too. All feelings are okay."
12. What helps: "When [Name] misses [Nana], [Name] can [hug someone, look at this book, wear her scarf]."
13. Still here: "[Name] still has [Mommy, Daddy, Grandpa, Aunt Jo]. We will take care of [Name]."
14. How we remember: "We remember [Nana] by [making her pancakes on Sundays, telling her stories]."
15. Last page: "[Nana] loved [Name] very much. We will always remember her."

Words that help on the hardest pages

These sentences are gentle without being vague. Use them as they are or change them to fit your family.

[Grandpa] was very old, and his body got very tired. One day it stopped working, and [Grandpa] died.

Nothing [Name] said or did made [Grandpa] die. It was not anyone's fault.

[Grandpa] had a very, very serious sickness. Most of the time when people get sick, like with a cold or a tummy ache, they get better.

Sometimes [Name] cries, and sometimes [Name] laughs and plays. Both are okay. Missing someone comes and goes.

The "still here" page matters too. After a death, young children sometimes worry about who will take care of them. Naming the people who are still around can be reassuring.

When and how should we read it?

Make it when your child seems ready, and let them lead. There is no right moment: for some families it is a week after the funeral, for others it is months later, around a birthday or holiday.

• Make it together. Ask, "What do you remember about [Nana]?" and write down their exact words. One or two pages at a time is plenty.
• Invite the family. Ask aunts, uncles and cousins for photos and one memory each. Hearing new stories can be a comfort for everyone.
• Keep it within reach. Children often grieve in short bursts and may want the book at bedtime, or long after you thought they had moved on.
• Expect the same questions. Young children may ask "When is [Nana] coming back?" many times. The book gives the same calm answer each time.

How to make it on makeabook.fun

makeabook.fun is free, runs in your browser on a phone, tablet or computer, and needs no sign-up.

1. Open a blank book. "A blank book" gives you twelve empty pages for the outline above. Add pages as you need them.
2. Add photos. Upload pictures from your phone or computer, including old prints you have photographed. Drag to reposition and zoom so faces sit where you want them.
3. Add your child's art. Photograph their drawings or let them draw on the drawing pad with a finger, mouse or stylus. Our guide to turning kids' drawings into a book has tips.
4. Write the words. A sentence or two per page. The "just words" layout suits the page that explains the death.
5. Pick a font. Andika, a font designed for children learning to read, helps early readers read it on their own.
6. Finish the cover and dedication. The title page and dedication page fill themselves in, so you can write "In memory of [Nana], who loved us so much."
7. Read it in the flip-through reader, then print.

Printing copies for the family

The free print-at-home PDF is full color, each page centered on US Letter or A4 paper. Because a memory book is often shared with cousins and grandparents, the Keepsake edition ($2.99 once per book) can be worth it: print-shop quality at the exact book size, no makeabook.fun mark, a fold-and-staple booklet layout, and free re-downloads after edits. See how to print a picture book at home for paper and binding. If your child has also lost a pet, our page on making a pet loss book for kids uses the same gentle approach.