How to Make an Adoption Story Book for Your Child

An adoption story book is a picture book, made just for your child, that tells them their own story: where they began, how your family came together, and that they belong. Adoption professionals often call this a lifebook. A personalized one uses your child's real photos, places and people, in words they can understand now, so their story feels like something they have always known rather than something they find out later.

Why make your own adoption story book?

A homemade adoption story book gives your child their real story, told gently and at their level, in a form they can return to as often as they like. Bookstore books about adoption can be wonderful, but no published book can show your child's birthplace, their first photo with you, or the people who love them.

It also makes the story easy to talk about. When your child picks the book off the shelf, the conversation starts on their terms, and questions have a natural place to come up.

Every adoption is different: infant adoption, foster care, kinship, international, open or closed. This page offers a starting point, not a script. Your agency, social worker or adoption-competent therapist can help you think about what is right for your child.

What should an adoption story book include?

Include what helps your child understand who they are, and leave out what is private or too much for now. Many families' books cover:

• Your child, now. Who they are today, what they love, so the book starts with them.
• Where their story began. Where they were born, and what is known about their first days, told simply.
• Their birth family, respectfully. Whatever your family chooses to share, in kind and neutral words.
• The people who cared for them. Foster parents, caregivers or relatives, if that is part of the story.
• How you became a family. Waiting, the day you met, coming home.
• Their family now. Parents, siblings, grandparents, pets, home.
• Questions are welcome. A page that says they can ask anything, any time.

What should we leave out?

Leave out anything that is private, uncertain, or that your child should hear first in a conversation rather than read in a book. Some parts of an adoption story belong to your child to share, or not, when they are older. A book that friends and classmates might see should not hold details your child may later wish were private.

A simple approach is two versions over time: a gentle, short book for a young child, and a fuller one you build together as they grow and ask for more.

A page-by-page outline you can copy

Here is a 14-page outline. Change the words in brackets, and skip or rewrite any page that does not match your child's story.

1. Cover: "[Name]'s Story" or "How We Became a Family", with a photo of your child.
2. This is me: "This is [Name]. [Name] is [age] and loves [dinosaurs, swings, strawberries]."
3. Where I began: "[Name] was born in [city/country] on [date]."
4. My birth family: "[Name] grew in [birth mother's name or 'her birth mother's'] tummy." (Use only what your family chooses to share.)
5. A grown-up decision: "[Birth parent] could not take care of a baby [then]. That was a grown-up decision, and it was not because of anything [Name] did."
6. Who cared for me: "[Name] was cared for by [foster mom Lena, the nurses at ___, Auntie]." (Optional.)
7. Waiting: "[Mom and Dad / Mama / Papa] wanted a child very much and were waiting."
8. The day we met: "On [date], [we] met [Name] at [place]. [Name] was wearing [the green hat]."
9. Coming home: "[Name] came home to [our house in ___]. [Grandpa] was waiting at the door."
10. My family now: "[Name]'s family is [Mom, Dad, big brother Theo and Biscuit the cat]."
11. Things we do together: "We like to [bake on Saturdays, go to the lake, dance in the kitchen]."
12. Big feelings: "Sometimes [Name] might feel happy, curious, sad or mixed up about [his/her/their] story. All feelings are okay."
13. Questions are welcome: "[Name] can ask us anything about [his/her/their] story, any time."
14. Last page: "[Name] is part of our family forever, and we love [him/her/them] so much."

Words that help on the harder pages

These sentences are honest and gentle. Change them to fit your family's story and the words you use at home.

[Name] has a birth mother, [first name]. [Name] grew inside her before [he/she/they] was born.

[Name]'s birth parents couldn't take care of any baby at that time. It was not [Name]'s fault, and it was not because of anything about [Name].

Some parts of [Name]'s story we don't know. It is okay to wonder about them, and we can wonder together.

[Name] can love [his/her/their] birth family and [his/her/their] family now. There is room for both.

Use respectful words for birth family, such as "birth mother" or "birth parents," and avoid anything that sounds like blame. Your child will likely remember the tone more than the details.

When and how should we read it?

Many families read an adoption story book from a very young age, so the story is familiar long before a child understands all of it. Your agency or social worker can help you think about what fits your child.

• Read it like any other favorite. Keep it on the shelf with their other books, not saved for a serious talk.
• Let them lead. If they want to stop on one page, stay there. If they skip a page, that is fine too.
• Add to it. New photos, new questions, a page about a visit with birth family if that is part of your life.
• Revisit the words as they grow. The book for a three-year-old will not be the right book for a nine-year-old.

How to make it on makeabook.fun

makeabook.fun is free, runs in your browser on a phone, tablet or computer, and needs no sign-up. Books save in your browser on that device, and nothing is uploaded, so your child's story stays with you.

1. Open a blank book. "A blank book" gives you twelve empty pages for the outline above. Add pages as needed.
2. Add photos. Upload photos from your phone or computer, then drag to reposition and zoom. For people or places you have no photos of, a map, a drawing or a "just words" page works well.
3. Let your child add art. They can draw their family on the drawing pad with a finger, mouse or stylus. Ideas from our all about me book page work well for the "this is me" pages.
4. Write the words. One or two sentences per page, in the words your family uses.
5. Pick a font. Andika, a font designed for children learning to read, helps them read it on their own later.
6. Finish the cover and dedication. The title page and dedication page fill themselves in, so you can dedicate it "To [Name], our favorite story."
7. Read it, then print. Flip through it together in the reader. If you want to work on it from another device, the Backup file moves it there.

Printing a copy to keep

The free print-at-home PDF is full color, with each page centered on US Letter or A4 paper. For a book you expect to read for years, the Keepsake edition ($2.99 once per book) gives print-shop quality at the exact book size, no makeabook.fun mark, a fold-and-staple booklet layout, and free re-downloads after you add pages. Our guide to printing a picture book at home covers paper and binding, and our page on making a personalized children's book has more ideas for books starring your child.